The Last StarfighterJuly 16, 2007
“By the order of Xur and the Ko-Dan Armada, I command you to pull my finger”
Alex Rogan (Lance Guest) is a depressing teenager living in a low scale trailer park. He has vague dreams of getting somewhere in life because he likes to stare wishingly at his planet mobil hanging in his bedroom and to stalk the mailbox for rejection letters from community colleges. Between unclogging toilets and ignoring his girlfriend Maggie Gordon (Catherine Mary Stewart) he spends an obscene amount of quarters on a nearby mammoth sized arcade game called “The Starfighter.” to dull his pain. His apparent short term life goals are realized late one night when he beats the scoring record which brings out all residents of the trailer parklike it was a soccer game final in Brazil. I don’t think the guy that cured polio got this much fanfare.
After the night long celebration of parades and fireworks in his honor, Alex is approached by the game’s flim-flam inventor, Centauri played by Robert Preston who kidnaps him in a pimped out starcar whisking him off to another planet. It turns out the game was actually a test for to find real star fighters much like the army games the government is churning out for recruiting. Because there’s nothing you want more than a white nerdy guy who sits in front of computer screens all day saving the galaxy or operating firearms.
Not too thrilled with the prospects of getting vaporized in a space battle, Alex heads back to Earth only to find a robot clone of himself has been getting busy with his girlfriend, creeping out his family, and is now target practice for lobster headed alien cops.
Alex must finally faces the challenge to fight as the remaining starfighter in a desperate battle against the armada to save the galaxy. With the help of his Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle headed co-pilot, Grig, they wage a one ship war against an entire squadron of bad computer generated graphics.
A neat little sci-fi movie from the 80’s that was every Atari playin’ Geeks dream. Give it a try but bring lots of quarters.
Keep an eye out for…
– giant holographic balding aliens
– bifocals made of real eyeballs
– squid faced distempered co-pilots
– Outback steakhouse’s Onion “Death Blossoms”
– 9 year old Hugh Hefners
– grannies listening to pop music
– translator collar clips constructed from old digital watch parts
– aliens with Ed Asner hair cuts
– flash mobs of videogame spectators
“This movie is what destroyed Atari”
rated 8.9 out of 10 for the movie
Learn more about this movie at imbd.com
Check out the trailer for The Last Starfighter