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District B13

July 10, 2007

District B13

“The French apparently lack our fine skills in parallel parking.”

If Gymkata had a bigger budget, a real plot, and people with actual gymnastic/karate skills and you mixed it all together in a giant French blender you’d get District B13. Not since Circus De Soleil have I seen so many French men jumping through hoops and swinging on ropes.

It’s the far distant future of 2010(?) Paris has isolated off the criminal ridden parts of the city with a giant wall armed to the teeth with police and machine guns. This is to prevent anyone from crossing the border that might not like Jerry Lewis or isn’t wearing a beret and carrying a baguette. The French can be so snobby that way.

David “don’t call me Tinker” Belle plays Leito, a drug dealer who crosses the line when he destroys a Sam Wholesale size supply of heroine that belongs to a district’s crime lord. Leito must have downed a dozen Jolt colas before breakfast as he escapes the hit squad in a dazzling display of jumping through windows, scaling down the sides of buildings, leaping across roofs and jumping over moving cars… all the while keeping his hair looking perfect.

Unfortunately Leito gets double crossed by the local authorities when he tries to turn the drug dealers in at the border. Thrown into a jail transport he unwittingly joins up with an undercover cop, another acrobatic French Kung-fu expert named Damien Tomaso. “Pasta” Leito and “The Sauce” Tomaso now their own action team plot together to rescue Leito’s sister who is held captive by the drug thugs back in District B13. They also need stop a neutron bomb from killing millions of people along the way if they run out of things to do.

The action is intense with more kicks and jumps and groin smashes that would even make Jackie Chan winded. Definitely check it out and Don’t forget to uncork a fine bottle of wine. It helps make the bad French dubbing more bearable.

Keep an eye out for…

– French Vin Diesels in Don Ho shirts
– Brautsworth broiling
– Fast and the Furious casting rejects
– street thug bunk beds
– impromptu street gymnastic routines
– chained 7 ft tall amish wrestlers
– balding juan valdez gangsters

“b5, b23, b13…viva la bingo!”

rated 8.3 out of 10 for the movie

Learn more about this movie at imbd.com

Check out the trailer for District B13

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3 comments

  1. Steve…where did you get a opy of this flick? Is it rent-able? I’ve been on the lookout for it going on a while now.


  2. You should be able to find this easily at even Best Buy. I’m also pretty sure that Netflix carries it if you have an account. It’s definitely a buy movie as I break it out a couple of times a year when I was to be thrilled.

    I champion this title like crazy. It blew my socks off the first time I saw it and since then I’ve badgered people into buying it left and right. None have been disappointed. I’ve never seen a movie like it.

    There’s another French parkour action movie called Yamakasi that isn’t half as fun as this one, but it’s worth a look if you want to see more guys leaping off of roofs safely to the ground below.


  3. yeah I rented it on Netflix. based on Bryan’s recommendation from his blog site http://www.cinema-suicide.com
    great site by the way. Bryan has similar taste in films as me so I’ll try to give him a shout out as much as I can.



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