Archive for November, 2006

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Return of the Aliens: the Deadly Spawn

November 29, 2006

The Deadly Spawn
“attack of the sausages”

Ah yes back to the basics of horror film making. You know that if an opening scene starts out with a tent and a campfire in the woods that by the end of the scene you’ll end up with some dead campers. Deadly Spawn adheres to these type of basic principle of horror film writing. The harbinger of bad news in this film comes in the form of meteor crashing to earth with a hungry alien inside it. After a lite brunch of campers the alien hides out in a family’s basement much like a 20 year old who hasn’t left home yet. The alien who resembles a burrito with a thousand teeth continues to chomp through victims that stubornly keep trying to check out the basement. Hilarious as the hapless victims notice all the blood on the walls and still continue looking. People this dumb need to be eaten by a giant sausage. There’s the stereotypical young boy obsessed with horror movies who lives upstairs (and no I didn’t live upstairs when I was young). The science fanboy brother and his girlfriend. There’s the dumb jock guy who is more concerned about failing his upcoming pop quiz than the threat of being eaten alive. It’s an all you can eat buffet of stupidity. Watch for the big showdown between geek horror boy and alien burrito. Marvel at his inginuity, scream at the sight of the alien, laugh at the dialog. If you enjoyed Evil Dead, you’ll like this movie.

rated 7.6 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imbd.com

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Logan’s Run

November 20, 2006

Logan’s Run
“Welcome to the future. Our wall light technology is centuries ahead of yours”

It’s the 23rd century and the human race is confined to a giant indoor golf dome where life is full of no work, all play and for some reason no indoor golfing. Instead you’re killed off when you hit the ripe old age of 30 in a weird 70’s disco version of Cirque Du Soleil. I guess it’s some sort of societal right of passage to thin the herd. You even have a little red light on your hand to remind you it’s time to go. Kinda like a mortality alarm clock with no snooze button. The few people tha try to escape the dome are known as runners and the police that track them are known as Sandmen. Logan played by Michael York is a Sandman who learns the truth of their society (who in turn has his light-hand switch to dead) and starts his own running. Along with his new found girlfriend Jessica played by Jenny Agutter, they make their way to the legend of sanctuary to escape the dome and bring the truth back to their people. The truth is pretty lame as they find is just an old crazy guy with a thousand cats. Maybe they should have just stayed in the golf dome. If you like THX 1138 you’ll love this movie. Great 70’s sci-fi nostalgia.

rated 8.3 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imbd.com

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Logan’s Run

November 20, 2006

Logan’s Run
“Welcome to the future. Our wall light technology is centuries ahead of yours”

It’s the 23rd century and the human race is confined to a giant indoor golf dome where life is full of no work, all play and for some reason no indoor golfing. Instead you’re killed off when you hit the ripe old age of 30 in a weird 70’s disco version of Cirque Du Soleil. I guess it’s some sort of societal right of passage to thin the herd. You even have a little red light on your hand to remind you it’s time to go. Kinda like a mortality alarm clock with no snooze button. The few people tha try to escape the dome are known as runners and the police that track them are known as Sandmen. Logan played by Michael York is a Sandman who learns the truth of their society (who in turn has his light-hand switch to dead) and starts his own running. Along with his new found girlfriend Jessica played by Jenny Agutter, they make their way to the legend of sanctuary to escape the dome and bring the truth back to their people. The truth is pretty lame as they find is just an old crazy guy with a thousand cats. Maybe they should have just stayed in the golf dome. If you like THX 1138 you’ll love this movie. Great 70’s sci-fi nostalgia.

rated 8.3 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imbd.com

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The Straight Story

November 14, 2006

The Straight Story
“Is that one of them there new hybrid electric cars?”

After so many b-movies of horror and action and mega-cheese I wanted to review a movie a bit different and special in it’s own right. This movie is a big time tear jerker and amazingly it’s directed by David Lynch. Yes the same twisted David Lynch that brought us Mulholland Drive, Twin peaks, Blue Velvet and Dune. But thankfully there is no ranting Sting in this movie or giant sandworms. Though a sandworm would have helped with the slow pacing of the film. What we get instead is a quiet heart warming tale about an old man, Alvin Straight, who can no longer drive a car but finds out his brother is deathly ill. He decided against the advice of daughter drives his tractor across multiple states to see him meeting interesting characters along the way. A great movie of determination and love with hints of David Lynch’s deeper subtext of portraying the human story. Check it out. It will make you a better person for seeing it.

rated 9.3 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imbd.com

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Dog Soldiers

November 9, 2006

dogsoldier.jpg
“He’s almost as hairy as Robin Williams”

In honor of the elections and all the wonderful campaign ads we’ve seen, I thought a good movie would be about a pack vicious hungry wolves creatures craving human flesh. Like politicans encrouching in on a campaign contributor, the story revolves around a group of British solders sent out on a training mission in the highlands of Scottland. They soon encounter what’s left of a special ops team which is mostly gooey bits and pieces and eventually arrive at the conclusion something might be dangerous in the woods. Was it a ravenous bear? crazy racoons? vicious tree squirrels? Nope…the more logical choice is a pack of werewolves. The team high-tails it out of there and holds up in a abandoned house for their last stand. If only they had some kibble and bits to throw out the window. Some great action and gore in this film. If you liked “aliens” and laugh when your dog bites the mailman you’ll love this movie.

rated 8.1 out of 10
learn more about this movie at imbd.com